The following article was taken from "A Journey to the Western Isles of Scotland" written by Samuel Johnson (1775). In order to preserve the original version as much as possible I have not altered any of the spelling differences you will see.

The Isle of Colonsay

About two leagues to the north of Islay lies the isle Oronsay. It is separated from Colonsay only at the tide of flood. This peninsula is four miles in circumference, being for the most part a plain arable, dry, sandy soil, and is fruitful in corn and grass; it is likewise adorned with a church, chapel, and monastery. They were built by the famous St. Columbus, to whom the church is dedicated. There is an altar in this church, and there has been a modern crucifix on it, in which several precious stones were fixed; the most valuable of these is now in the custody of MacDuffie, in black Raimused village, and it is used as a catholicon for diseases. There are several burying-places here, and the tombstones for the most part have a two-handed sword engraven on them. On the south side of the church within lie the tombs of MacDuffie and of the cadets of his family; there is a ship under sail and a two-handed sword engraven on the principal tombstone and this inscription, Hic jacit Malcolumbus MacDuffie de Collonsay; his coat of arms and colour-staff is of red in a stone, through which a hole is made to hold it. There is a cross at the east and west sides of this church, which are now broken; their height was about 12 feet each; there is a large cross on the west side of the church, of an entire stone very hard; there is a pedestal of three steps, by which they ascend to it, it is 16 feet high, and a foot and a half broad; there is a large crucifix on the west side of this cross, it has an inscription underneath, but not legible, being almost worn off by the injury of time; the other side has a tree engraven on it.

About a quarter of a mile on the south side of the church there is a cairn, in which there is a stone cross fixed, called MacDuffie’s Cross; for when any of the heads of this family were to be interred, their corpse was laid on this cross for some moments, in their way toward the church.

On the north side of the church there is a square stone wall, about two stories high; the area of it is about fourscore paces, and it is joined to the church wall: within this square there is a lesser square of one stored high, and about 60 paces wide, three sides of it are built of small pillars, consisting of two thin stones each, and each pillar vaulted above with two thin stones tapering upwards. There are inscriptions on two of the pillars, but few of the letters are perfect. There are several houses without the square which the monks lived in. There is a garden at twenty yards distance on the north side the houses.

The natives of Colonsay are accustomed, after their arrival in Oronsay Isle, to make a tour sunways about the church, before they enter upon any kind of business. My landlord having one of his family sick of a fever asked my book, as a singular favour, for a few moments. I was not a little surprised at the honest man’s request, he being illiterate; and when he told me the reason of it I was no less amazed, for it was to fan the patent’s face with the leaves of the book, and this he did at night. He sought the book next morning, and again in the evening, and then thanked me for so great a favour; and told me the sick person was much better by it, and thus I understood that they had an ancient custom of fanning the face of the sick with the leaves of the Bible.

The Isle Colonsay is four miles in length from east to west, and above a mile in breadth. The mould is brown and sandy on the coast, and affords but a very small product, though they plough their ground three times; the middle is rocky and heathy, which in most places is prettily mingled with thick evergreens of erica-baccifera, juniper, and cat’s tail.

The cattle bred here are cows, horses, and sheep, all of a low size. The inhabitants are generally well proportioned, and of a black complexion; they speak only the Irish tongue, and use the habit, diet etc., that is used in the Western Isles: they are all Protestants, and observe the festivals of Christmas, Easter, and Good Friday; but the women only observe the festival of the nativity of the blessed Virgin. Kilouran is the principal church in this isle, and the village in which this church is, hath its name from it. There are two ruinous chapels in the south side of this isle. There were two stone chests found lately in Kilouran sands, which were composed of five stones each, and had human bones in them. There are some fresh-water lakes abounding with trouts in thus isle. There are likewise several forts here, one of which is called Duncoll; it is near the middle of the isle, it hath large stones in it, and the wall is seven feet broad.

The other fort is called Dun-Evan: the natives have a tradition among them, of a very little generation of people, that lived once here, called Lusbirdan, the same with pygmies. This isle is the Duke of Argyll’s property.

Hello again. This issue of the Laird of Isle of Jura Newsletter brings you news about some new houses being built on the Isle of Jura along with a new ambulance, Arthur retires (who is Arthur? read on!) and the mysterious missing Jura Skull and bones.

News for March/April 2005

Isle of Jura Gifts

Isle of Jura Gifts is now online. We have a wide selection of books and gifts from the island and hope to expand our range shortly. Find us at www.isleofjuragifts.com

New houses on Isle of Jura

It is amazing the number of new houses that have been built, are being built or are planned to be built in such a small community ( Population about 170). At last count there are about 20 with over 50% of them being used or planned to be used as permanent residencies. It is also good to see the number of younger folk who are involved in this building frenzy. Don’t worry, though. In no way can this be seen as over development on such a sparsely populated island!

New ambulance for the Isle of Jura

The Isle of Jura is to get its own island based ambulance through the Scottish Community Ambulance Initiative. Support has come from all areas with free ferry travel being supplied by the ferry companies and a years supply of fuel donated by a local distributor. All that remains to be done is to train the volunteer crew in time for the ambulances arrival.

Arthur retires

After 36 years of plying the sound between Isle of Jura and Islay on the ferry, Arthur has finally hung up his skippers cap. He will be sorely missed and a party was held for him in the village hall in March.

The Lairds View

I will be back on Isle of Jura again at the end of the month visiting relatives and hopefully catching a trout or 2! Surely the weather will cooperate this time and I will get some nice pictures for the web site and newsletters.

The picnic table will be put into place and the bracken cut back so that any of you visiting Lairds or Ladies can fully enjoy the fine views.

I would be interested to here from anyone planning to visit this summer. Don’t forget to quote your 10% discount voucher if you are booking into the hotel!

Stories from Isle of Jura

For many years a skull and 2 limb bones sat on a rock protected by an overhang near the shore at Glengarrisdale on the west coast of the Isle of Jura. It is believed they were turned up when ploughing and could have belonged to the victim of a long ago massacre, as the skull had a slash in it which could have been made by a sword. Sadly they are no longer there.

Next time I will report on the annual Fell race and hopefully have these promised pictures!

Slainte David

The following article was taken from "A Journey to the Western Isles of Scotland" written by Samuel Johnson (1775). In order to preserve the original version as much as possible I have not altered any of the spelling differences you will see.

The Isle of Islay

The isle of Islay lies to the west of Jura, from which it is separated by a narrow channel; it is twenty four miles in length from south to north, and eighteen from east to west; there are some little mountains about the middle on the east side. The coast is for the most part heathy and uneven, and by consequence not proper for village; the north end is also full of heaths and hills. The south-west and west is pretty well cultivated, and there is six miles between Kilrow on the west, and Port Escock in the east, which is arable and well inhabited. There is about one thousand little hills on this road, and all abound with limestone; among which there is lately discovered a lead mine in three different places, but it has not turned to any account as yet. The corn growing here is barley and oats.

There is only one harbour in this isle, called Loch-Dale; it lies near the north end, and is of a great length and breadth; but the depth being in the middle, few vessels come within half a league of the land side.

There are several rivers in this isle affording salmon. The fresh-water lakes are well stocked with trouts; eels, and some with salmons: as Loch-Guirm, which is four miles in circumference, and hath several forts built on an island that lies in it.

Loch-Finlagan, about three miles in circumference, affords salmon, trouts, and eels: this lake lies in the centre of the isle. The isle Finlagan, from which this lake hath its name, is in it. It is famous for being once the court in which the great Macdonald, King of the Isles, had his residence; his houses, chapel, etc., are now ruinous. His guards de corps, called Lucht-taeh, kept guard on the lake side nearest to the isle; the walls of their houses are still to be seen there.

The High Court of Judicature, consisting of fourteen, sat always here; and there was an appeal to them from all the Courts in the isles: the eleventh share of the sum in debate was due to the principal judge. There was a big stone of seven feet square, in which there was a deep impression made to receive the feet of Macdonald; for he was crowned King of the Isles standing in this stone, and swore that he would continue his vassals in the possession of their lands, and do exact justice to all his subjects: and then his father’s sword was put into his hand. The Bishop of Argyll and seven priests anointed him king, in presence of all the heads of the tribes in the isles and continent, and were his vassals; at which time the orator rehearsed a catalogue of his ancestors, etc.

There are several forts built in the isles that are in fresh-water lakes, as in Ilan-Loch-Guirn, and Ilan-Viceain; there is a fort called Dunnivag in the south-west side of the isle, and there are several caves in different places of it. The largest that I saw was in the north end, and is called Vah-Vearnag; it will contain 200 men to stand or sit in it. There is a kill for drying corn made on the east side of it; and on the other side there is a wall built close to the side of the cave, which was used for a bed-chamber; it had a fire on the floor, and some chairs about it, and the bed stood close to the wall. There is a stone without the cave door, about which the common people make a tour sunways.

A mile on the south-west side of the cave is the celebrated well called Toubir in Knahar, which in the ancient language is as much as to say, the well that sallied from one place to another: for it is a received tradition among the vulgar inhabitants of this isle, and the opposite isle of Colonsay, that this well was first in Colonsay, until an imprudent woman happened to wash her hands in it, and that immediately after, the well being thus abused, came in an instant to Islay, where it is like to continue, and is ever since esteemed a catholicon for diseases by the natives and adjacent islanders; and the great resort to it is commonly every quarter-day.

It is common with sick people to make a vow to come to the well, and after drinking, they make a tour sunways round it, and then leave an offering of some small token, such as a pin, needle, farthing, or the like, on the stone cover which is above the well. But if the patient is not like to recover, they send a proxy to the well, who acts as above-mentioned, and carries home some of the water to be drank by the sick person.

There is a little chapel beside this well, to which such as had found the benefit of the water, came back and returned thanks to God for their recovery.

There are several rivers on each side this isle that afford salmon. I was told by the natives that the Brion of Islay, a famous judge, is according to his own desire, buried standing on the brink of the river Laggan, having in his right hand a spear, such as they use to dart at the salmon.

There are some isles on the coast of this island, as island Texa on the south-west, about a mile in circumference; and island Ouirsa, a mile likewise in circumference, with the small isle called Nave.

The Names of the Churches in this Isle are as follows: Kil-Chollim Kill, St. Columbus his church near Port Escock, Kil-Chovan in the Rins, on the west side the isle; Kil-Chiaran in Rins, on the west side Nerbols in the Rins, St. Columbus his church in Laggan, a chapel in island Nave, and Kilhan Alen, north-west of Kilrow. There is a cross standing near St. Columbus’s or Port Escock side, which is ten feet high. There are two stones set up at the east side of Loch-Finlagan, and they are six feet high.

All the inhabitants are Protestants; some among them observe the festivals of Christmas and Good Friday. They are well proportioned and indifferently healthful.

The air here is not near so good as that of Jura, from which it is but a short mile distant; but Islay is lower and more marshy, which makes it liable to several diseases that do not trouble those of Jura. They generally speak the Irish tongue; all those of the best rank speak English; they use the same habit and diet with those of Jura.

This isle is annexed to the Crown of Scotland. Sir Hugh Campbell of Caddell is the King’s steward there, and has one half of the island. This isle is reckoned the furthest west of all the isles in Britain. There is a village on the west coast of it called Cul, i.e., the back part; and the natives say it was so called because the ancients thought it the back of the world, as being the remotest part on that side of it. The natives of Islay, Colonsay, and Jura say that there is an island lying to the southwest of these isles, about the distance of a day’s sailing, for which they have only a bare tradition. Mr. MacSwen, present minister in the isle Jura, gave me the following account of it, which he had from the master of an English vessel that happened to anchor at that little isle, and came afterwards to Jura, which is thus:

As I was sailing some thirty leagues to the southwest of Islay, I was becalmed near a little isle, where I dropped anchor and went ashore. I found it covered all over with long grass. There was abundance of seals lying on the rocks and on the shore; there is likewise a multitude of sea-fowls in it; there is a river in the middle, and on each side of it I found great heaps of fish bones of many sorts; there are many planks and boards cast up upon the coast of the isle, and it being all plain, and almost level with the sea, I caused my men (being then idle) to erect a heap of the wood about two stories high; and that with a design to make the island more conspicuous to seafaring men.

This isle is four English miles in length, and one in breadth. I was about thirteen hours sailing between this isle and Jura. Mr. John MacSwen, above mentioned, having gone to the isle of Colonsay some few days after, was told by the inhabitants that from an eminence near the monastery in a fair day they saw as it were the top of a little mountain in the south-west sea, and that they doubted not but it was land, though they never observed it before. Mr. MacSwen was confirmed in this opinion by the account above-mentioned; but when summer was over, they never saw this little hill, as they called it, any more; the reason which is supposed to be this, that the high winds in all probability has cast down the pile of wood that forty seamen had erected the preceding year in that island, which, by reason of the description above recited, we may aptly enough call the Green Island.

The following article was taken from "A Journey to the Western Isles of Scotland" written by Samuel Johnson in 1775. In order to preserve the original version as much as possible I have not altered any of the spelling differences you will see.

The isle of Jura is by a narrow channel of about half a mile broad separated from Islay. The natives say that Jura is so called from Dih and Rah, two brethren, who are believed to have been Danes, the names Dih and Rah signifying as much as without grace or prosperity. Tradition says that these two brethren fought and killed one another in the village Knock-Cronm, where there are two stones erected of 7 feet high each, and under them, they say, there are urns, with the ashes of the two brothers; the distance between them is about 60 yards. The isle is mountainous along the middle, where there are four hills of a considerable height. The two highest are well known to sea-faring men by the name of the Paps of Jura. They are very conspicuous from all quarters of sea and land in those parts.

This isle is twenty-four miles long, and in some places six or seven miles in breadth. It is the Duke of Argyll’s property, and part of the Sheriffdom of Argyll.

The mould is brown and greyish on the coast, and black in the hills, which are covered with heath and some grass that proves good pasturage for their cattle, which are horses, cows, sheep, and goats. There is variety of land and water-fowl here. The hills ordinarily have about three hundred deer grazing on them, which are not to be hunted by any without the steward’s license. This isle is perhaps the wholesomest plot of ground either in the isles or continent of Scotland, as appears by the long life of the natives and their state of health, to which the height of the hills is believed to contribute in a large measure, by the fresh breezes of wind that come from them to purify the air; whereas Islay and Gigha, on each side this isle, are much lower, and are not so wholesome by far, being liable to several diseases that are not here. The inhabitants observe that the air of this place is perfectly pure, from the middle of March till the end or middle of September. There is no epidemical disease that prevails here. Fevers are but seldom observed by the natives, and any kind of flux is rare. The gout and agues are not so much as known by them, neither are they liable to sciatica. Convulsions, vapours, palsies, surfeits, lethargies, megrims, consumptions, rickets, pains of the stomach, or coughs, are not frequent here, and none of them are at any time observed to become mad. I was told by several of the natives that there was not one woman died of childbearing there these 34 years past. Bloodletting and purging are not used here.

If any contract a cough, they use brochan only to remove it. If after a fever one chance to be taken ill of a stitch, they take a quantity of ladywrack, and half as much of red-fog, and boil them in water. The patients sit upon the vessel, and receive the fume, which by experience they find effectual against this distemper. Fevers and the diarrhœas are found here only when the air is foggy and warm, in winter or summer.

The inhabitants for their diet make use of beef and mutton in the winter and spring, as also of fish, butter, cheese, and milk. The vulgar take brochan frequently for their diet during the winter and spring; and brochan and bread used for the space of two days restores lost appetite.

The women of all ranks eat a lesser quantity of food than the men. This and their not wearing anything strait about them is believed to contribute much to the health of both the mothers and children.

There are several fountains of excellent water in this isle. The most celebrated of them is that of the mountain Beinbrek in the Tarbat, called Toubir ni Lechkin, that is, the well in a stony descent. It runs easterly, and they commonly reckon it to be lighter by one half than any other water in this isle; for though one drink a great quantity of it at a time, the belly is not swelled, or any ways burdened by it. Natives and strangers find it efficacious against nauseousness of the stomach and the stone. The river Nissa receives all the water that issues from this well, and this is the reason they give why salmon here are in goodness and taste far above those of any other river whatever. The river of Crockbreck affords salmon also, but they are not esteemed so good as those of the river Nissa.

Several of the natives have lived to a great age. I was told that one of them, called Gillouir MacCrain, lived to have kept one hundred and eighty Christmasses in his own house. He died about fifty years ago, and there are several of his acquaintances living to this day, from whom I had this account.

Bailiff Campbell lived to the age of one hundred and six years; he died three years ago; he passed the thirty-three last years before his death in this isle. Donald MacNamill, who lives in the village of Killearn at present, is arrived at the age of ninety years.

A woman of the Isle of Scarba, near the north end of this isle, lived seven score years, and enjoyed the free use of her senses and understanding all her days; it is now two years since she died.

There is a large cave, called King’s Cave on the west side of the Tarbat, near the sea; there is a well at the entry which renders it the more convenient for such as may have occasion to lodge in it.

About two miles further from the Tarbat, there is a cave at Corpich which hath an altar in it; there are many small pieces of petrified substance hanging from the roof of this cave.

There is a place where vessels used to anchor on the west side of this island, called Whitfarlan, about 100 yards north from the porter’s house.

About four leagues south from the north end of this isle, lies the bay Da’l Yaul, which is about half a mile in length; there is a rock on the north side of the entry, which they say is five fathom deep, and but three fathom within.

About a league further to the south, on the same coast, lies the small isles of Jura, within which there is a good anchoring-place; the south entry is the best: island Nin Gowir must be kept on the left hand; it is easily distinguished by its bigness from the rest of the isles. Conney Isle lies to the north of this island. There are black and white spotted serpents in this isle; their head being applied to the wound, is by the natives used as the best remedy for their poison. Within a mile of the Tarbat there is a stone erected about eight feet high. Loch-Tarbat on the west side runs easterly for about five miles, but is not a harbour for vessels, or lesser boats, for it is altogether rocky.

The shore on the west side affords coral and coralline. There is a sort of dulse growing on this coast, of a white colour.

Between the north end of Jura, and the isle Scarba, lies the famous and dangerous gulf, called Cory Vrekan, about a mile in breadth; it yields an impetuous current, not to be matched anywhere about the isle of Britain. The sea begins to boil and ferment with the tide of flood, and resembles the boiling of a pot; and then increases gradually, until it appears in many whirlpools, which form themselves in sort of pyramids, and immediately after spout up as high as the mast of a little vessel, and at the same time make a loud report. These white waves run two leagues with the wind before they break; the sea continues to repeat these various motions from the beginning of the tide of flood, until it is more than half-flood, and then it decreases gradually until it hath ebbed about half an hour, and continues to boil till it is within an hour of low water. This boiling of the sea is not above a pistol-shot distant from the coast of Scarba Isle, where the white waves meet and spout up: they call it the Kaillach, i.e., an old hag; and they say that when she puts on her kerchief, i.e., the whitest waves, it is then reckoned fatal to approach her. Notwithstanding this great ferment of the sea, which brings up the least shell from the ground, the smallest fisher-boat may venture to cross this gulf at the last hour of the tide of flood, and at the last hour of the tide of ebb.

This gulf hath its name from Brekan, said to be son to the King of Denmark, who was drowned here, cast ashore in the north of Jura, and buried in a cave, as appears from the stone, tomb, and altar there.

The natives told me that about three years ago an English vessel happened inadvertently to pass through this gulf at the time when the sea began to boil; the whiteness of the waves, and their spouting up, was like the breaking of the sea upon a rock; they found themselves attracted irresistibly to the white rock, as they then supposed it to be: this quickly obliged them to consult their safety, and so they betook themselves to the small boat with all speed, and thought it no small happiness to land safe in Jura, committing the vessel under all her sails to the uncertain conduct of tide and wind. She was driven to the opposite continent of Knapdale, where she was no sooner arrived than the tide and wind became contrary to one another, and so the vessel was cast into a creek, where she was safe; and then the master and crew were, by the natives of this isle, conducted to her, where they found her as safe as they left her, though all her sails were still hoisted.

The natives gave me an account, that some years ago a vessel had brought some rats hither, which increased so much that they became very uneasy to the people, but on a sudden they all vanished; and now there is not one of them in the isle.

There is a church here called Ilillearn, the inhabitants are all Protestants, and observe the festivals of Christmas, Easter, and Michaelmas; they do not open a grave on Friday, and bury none on that day, except the grave has been opened before.

The natives here are very well proportioned, being generally black of complexion and free from bodily imperfections. They speak the Irish language, and wear the plaid, bonnet, etc., as other islanders.

Origins of the Maclean clan on the Isle of Jura

Although the Maclean clan origin appears to be back in the Moray area of the north eastern Scottish Highlands the Maclean clan have been involved with the Isle of Jura for longer than any other clan (other than the MacDonalds).

It is thought that the Macleans were one of the Scottish clans moved to the Isle of Jura during 1161 by Malcolm IV King of Scotland in order to break up the threatening power structures that could have lead to him losing his kingdom.

However other records suggest that the Maclean clan has been associated since its earliest days with the Isle of Mull — an island visible from the Isle of Jura. The Maclean clan were always recorded as being expert seamen and their war galleys would have been landing on Isle of Jura and nearby islands.

The origin of the Maclean clan is disputed so we will give both versions to make sure we have the right one.

The Maclean Clan origins part one

The Maclean clan is said by some to be of Norman or Italian origin and having come through the Fitzgeralds of Ireland - one of whom was also reckoned to the founder of the Clan Mackenzie. The Fitzgeralds are said to have been descended from Seignoir Giralde who was one of the principal officers who came across with William the Conqueror in 1066. However records from the conquest times show little evidence of the existence of Giralde at that time.

The painting on the right hand side is of a Maclean Clan Chief by R R MacIan for "The Costumes of the Clans" published in 1845-47.

The Maclean Clan origins part two

The second (or Celtic) version of the Maclean clan origin suggests that in the or 13th century that Gillean or Gill-eoin meaning young man) was returning from hunting on Ben Tulla when he lost his way in fog. After a few days of growing weaker and weaker he hung his battle-axe on a laurel tree to mark his final resting place under a cypress bush. However friends found him before he actually died and took him home to recover fully. The axe, laurel and cypress have since been adopted by one of the branches of the Maclean clan in their own crest. Gillean had previously been acknowledged as being a superior warrior having fought at the battle of Largs against the Vikings in 1263 and had became known as "Gilleathain na Tuaighe" (Gillean of the Battleaxe).

Note: as the Gaelic language had not been fully developed as one standard written language by that time different spellings of the name have been found. In these writings we tend to use the most common format found today.

Whichever version of the orgin of the Maclean clan is true it is obvious that the Macleans are a ancient and honourable Scottish clan.

Read more about the history of the Maclean Clan on our Maclean Clan Tour!

How did this thorny Thistle flower become the national emblem of Scotland?

Answer — That Scottish Thistle saved the lives of a whole army of Scots from being slaughtered while they slept.  What better reason could you have!

An unusual wildlife topic.

In introducing the section on wildlife of Scotland we could not resist producing a page on the thistle — the national emblem of Scotland setting out why this rather prickly tough looking plant should be honoured in such a way.

The thistle plant grows wild all over Scotland with some 200 variations in growing all over the northern hemisphere. (One variety in the USA — known appropriately as the "Tall Thistle" — grows to a height of ten foot. However most other varieties of the Thistle grow to a height of only one to three foot.)

Thistle plants are tough wildlife with virtually no grazing animals eating them due to the very sharp spines and needles. However some animals such as a donkey will nip off the flower heads and enjoy them without touching the sharp needles.

Why make the thistle a national Emblem?

According to legend in 1263 one army led by King Haakon of Norway slipped ashore at Largs during the night hoping to take the Scots by surprise whilst they were still asleep prior to a battle planned for the following day.

In order to be able to move more quietly towards the sleeping Scots the invaders removed their footwear. Unfortunately for them that night they met up with something else hiding in the darkness. One of the invaders stood on a thistle and cried out in pain as the thorns went deep into his bare feet.

The Scots having been awakened by the cries arose and were able to fight driving the invaders back into the North Sea.

To honour the thistle plant that had so decisively saved their lives the Scots adopted the Thistle as their national symbol. Some two hundred years later James III put the thistle on silver coins in 1470.

Click to discover also the Order of the Thistle an ancient title first awarded in 1540 by the Scottish King.

Scottish humour (or humor if you are from the USA) is said to a very dry humour and often seen as putting down our nation and our own people.

For example one of the most common jokes in Scottish humour is about the meanness or frugality of Scots people. For example we still love to joke that we are tight fisted.

Advert in local newspaper.  For Sale Used Gravestone ideal for family named McDonald.

After a rather poor collection was gathered in, the church minister prayed, "We thank you , dear Lord, that the collection plate has been returned safely"

In reality research figures over many years have consistently shown that per head of population we give far more to charity than our English counterparts.

Many of us — including myself — love to hear the bagpipes when they are played well but with our Scottish humor we can joke about the sound they make to untrained ears that have no taste.

Wee Sandy had just moved to London.  Visited by a friend from Scotland he was asked how he was doing.

"Weel",he said, "its jist grand, apart from the English Neighbours. The lot next door scream and shout and doonstairs is forever knocking up wi a broom".

"For goodness sake, Sandy, How do you stand all this commotion?"asked his friend.

"Och,ah jist keep quietly practicing on ma pipes!"

A lot of Scottish humour includes jokes about our national drink (Scotch Whisky) often with a well deserved put down for other drinks that pretend to be our whisky.

For example three CEO’s of large whisky companies went into a hotel bar.

"Okay barman ", said the first one, "give me a Japanese Whisky, the finest whisky in the world." The Barman gives him his drink.

"Right barman," said the second CEO, Give me a large American Whiskey, the finest whisky in the world."  The Barman gives him his drink.

"Right barman," said the Scottish CEO. "Give me a coke"

The other two Whisky CEOs were astonished and asked " Why aren’t you drinking Scotch whisky?"

"Well", said the Scot, " I reckoned if you guys aren’t drinking whisky, neither would I"

 

We also love to to use our particular brand of Scottish humor to have a go at our politicians.

99.9% of Scots are decent, hardworking, law abiding and and honest citizens.  But we still have to learn to accept the blame for electing the other 0.1% to govern us.

But maybe more than anything the Scottish Humor tends to love to have a joke about our English neighbours south of the border.

When God created Scotland, He looked down on it with great satisfaction. Finally He called the Archangel Gabriel to have a look.

“Just see,” said God. “This is the best yet. Splendid mountains, beautiful scenery, brave men, the very finest of all women, nice cool weather. And I’ve given them beautiful music and a special drink called whisky. Try some.”

Gabriel took an appreciative sip.

“Excellent,” he said. “But haven’t you perhaps been too kind to them? Won’t they be spoiled by all these things? Should there not be some drawback?”

“Just wait till you see the neighbours they’re getting,” said God.

We will be adding large numbers of pages of Scottish humor jokes to this website over the next few months. Come back and see them regularly.

Alternatively contribute your own Scottish Humour to our pages below

What is the process for producing Isle of Jura Whisky?

There are a number of different stages involved in the production of Scotch whisky in particular

a) Malting the barley

b) Milling and mashing the barley

c) Fermentation

d) Distillation

e) Maturation/aging whisky

f) Bottling

Each of them in turn affecting the overall taste and quality of the finished drink and each stage will be considered here separately. We will also be considering the taste of each of the whisky brands produced by the Isle of Jura distillery.

The main ingredients of Scotch Whisky is water and barley (the latter being malted prior to being delivered to the distillery). These two ingredients plus the special care given to the whole process influence the taste more than anything else.

The Isle of Jura Whisky Distillery does not malt its own whisky but buys it in to exact specifications from a malting plant. This leaves the malting process in the hands of malting specialists and allows the distillery managers to concentrate on what they are specialist at doing.

Malting is simply the process of steeping the barley in water until germination and small shoots start to appear. The enzymes produced during this stage converts the starch in the barley into sugars which can later ferment into alcohol. Germination is then stopped by heating in a malt kiln. Many Scotch whisky distilleries use a peat fire at this stage to add a peat flavour to the barley and consequently to the taste of the whisky produced from it.

Except for about three weeks a year when it is making its Superstition brand the Isle of Jura distillery does not use the heavy peated barley so producing much lighter tasting whisky. If you visit the Isle of Jura distillery on one its free tours (weekdays by appointment) you will be offered an opportunity to see the three different barleys used in the distillery.

Just as there is little peat in the barley used by the Isle of Jura distillery it also uses a very soft water throughout. This water is taken from a local spring named Bhaile Mhargaidh (literally spring of the market town) that has flowed down from the hillside over rock rather than peat and is hence clearer in colour and purer in taste. It is believed that this same spring water has been used in making illicit whisky since the sixteenth century.

 

Did you know that you can visit the Isle of Jura whisky distillery and see for yourself how they make it?

In true Scots hospitality  they also give you a not so  "wee dram"

But before you can drink the Isle of Jura whisky it needs to be made!

Prior to the distillation of the whisky the barley must be ground to make a form of course flour. This is a fairly noisy but important process in the Isle of Jura Whisky Distillery achieved by the barley passing down a number of gravity fed milling rollers to form a grist.

The grist is then passed into large mash tuns with up to four times its own volumes of warm water to dissolve the sugars — retaining the solids to act as a cattle feed. (Don’t worry you will not see drunken cattle on the road as there has been no yeast added yet to produce any alcohol!)

The sugared juice (called wort) has still not started to ferment so yeast is added to produce alcohol and carbon dioxide. Often during this rapid bubbling process it is possible to feel the huge stainless steel wash back tuns vibrate. Up to now there is very little difference between the brewing of some beers and the production of whisky spirits. It is only in the next stage the brewing of beer and production of Scotch Whisky begins to divide.

The large copper stills comprise of two pairs of almost identical size (shown above) and are amongst the tallest in the whisky industry. It is at this stage that the alcohol is removed with the alcohol boiling off at 80 degrees compared with water at 100 degrees. The first pair of stills (referred to the low wines stills) hold 48,000 litres between them.

The liquid is heated by use of steam coils with samples of the distillate being taken at regular intervals until the hydrometer reading shows no more alcohol remains. This is done over a period of eight hours. At this stage the distillate will around 21% alcohol. (The control panel and testing area just visible on the left side of the photo also serves as a viewing area for visitors on the whisky distillery tour.)

The second stage of the whisky distillation process takes place in the second smaller pair of stills. This distillation is taken even more slower with the stills running for eleven hours although the important required "middle cut" is only being taken for about a third of that time. Again here one of the steam coils is switched off during that middle cut to enable a better separation of the alcohol content.

At this point the distillate will be around 70% but diluted to around 63.5% alcohol with the addition of more spring water. However it is still illegal to call this alcoholic spirit "whisky". In addition it still lacks that distinctive flavour we would associate with Isle of Jura Scotch whisky.

Continue the tour of the Isle of Jura Whisky distillery

Can you tell the taste between the different brands of Isle of Jura Whisky?

The Isle of Jura Whisky distillery does not produce the heavy peated whisky associated with the whisky distilleries on the neighbouring Isle of Islay. Instead it is more like the traditional scotch highland whisky but has a unique taste all of its own.

The combination of a very lightly peated malt with the pure water (coming from a local spring the Bhaille Mharghaidh which flows over rock and so carries very little peat) coupled with some of the highest whisky stills in Scotland and the very slow maturation near the sea to give a very slightly salty taste together produces some of the finest whisky in the world.

The main brands sold to the public are their 10 year old Isle of Jura Scotch Whisky, the 16 year Isle of Jura scotch whisky, the more intense taste of the 21 year old Isle of Jura whisky along with the "Isle of Jura Superstition" Scotch Whisky.

However these make up only a small proportion of the total whisky distilled on the Isle of Jura the rest is blended with other whiskies from across Scotland to help make up the wide range of whiskies produced by the parent company.

10 year old Isle of Jura Whisky

The distillery describes this as being clean fresh and light.

However that almost ignores the very full rich aromatic taste that if allowed to roll around the palette reveals an attractive flavour that will linger there and reflect the true nature of the Isle of Jura.

16 year old Isle of jura Whisky

This Isle of Jura single malt whisky is one of the most popular of the range.

Naturally it does not have as bold a taste as its 21 year old more expensive cousin but it will suit the taste of many sophisticated Scotch malt whisky drinkers.

Definitely worth trying a bottle or two to get to know it.

21 year old Isle of Jura Whisky

This mature Isle of Jura Scotch whisky has been kept in its cask for at least 21 years prior to bottling — most of that time in a secure cold warehouse at the top of a hill overlooking small isle bay and Craighouse.

This position has helped it absorb the freshness of the salt air keeping it cool and of course exchanging it with some of it’s evaporating alcoholic spirit (known as "the angel’s share").

Let this linger under your nose for some time as you sip it to capture the full flavour before the warmth of the whisky wraps itself around your tongue.

Isle of Jura Superstition Scotch Whisky

The Isle of Jura Superstition blend is designed for those who like to have a more peater taste in their scotch whisky. Created by blending two different blending cultures one being from the neighbouring island of Islay the other coming from a number of other aged malt whisky distillations.

Its name derives from the age old myth saying it is unlucky to cut peat in April as opposed to May. Each bottle strongly features the Ankh cross (which tends to put me off it) deemed to conduct divine power of immortality to anyone close enough to absorb its positive energy.

Maturing in American white oak casks has resulted in it acquiring a strong rich aroma to be enjoyed as you swirl the whisky around the glass. This is a single malt whisky to be sipped rather than drunk if you want to get the full lingering aftertaste. Despite its name and symbolism I like it!

 

Discover even more about  Scotch whisky with our DVD