April 28, 2005

Laird of Isle of Jura Newsletter 4

Hello again. This issue of the Laird of Isle of Jura Newsletter brings you news about some new houses being built on the Isle of Jura along with a new ambulance, Arthur retires (who is Arthur? read on!) and the mysterious missing Jura Skull and bones.

News for March/April 2005

Isle of Jura Gifts

Isle of Jura Gifts is now online. We have a wide selection of books and gifts from the island and hope to expand our range shortly. Find us at www.isleofjuragifts.com

New houses on Isle of Jura

It is amazing the number of new houses that have been built, are being built or are planned to be built in such a small community ( Population about 170). At last count there are about 20 with over 50% of them being used or planned to be used as permanent residencies. It is also good to see the number of younger folk who are involved in this building frenzy. Don’t worry, though. In no way can this be seen as over development on such a sparsely populated island!

New ambulance for the Isle of Jura

The Isle of Jura is to get its own island based ambulance through the Scottish Community Ambulance Initiative. Support has come from all areas with free ferry travel being supplied by the ferry companies and a years supply of fuel donated by a local distributor. All that remains to be done is to train the volunteer crew in time for the ambulances arrival.

Arthur retires

After 36 years of plying the sound between Isle of Jura and Islay on the ferry, Arthur has finally hung up his skippers cap. He will be sorely missed and a party was held for him in the village hall in March.

The Lairds View

I will be back on Isle of Jura again at the end of the month visiting relatives and hopefully catching a trout or 2! Surely the weather will cooperate this time and I will get some nice pictures for the web site and newsletters.

The picnic table will be put into place and the bracken cut back so that any of you visiting Lairds or Ladies can fully enjoy the fine views.

I would be interested to here from anyone planning to visit this summer. Don’t forget to quote your 10% discount voucher if you are booking into the hotel!

Stories from Isle of Jura

For many years a skull and 2 limb bones sat on a rock protected by an overhang near the shore at Glengarrisdale on the west coast of the Isle of Jura. It is believed they were turned up when ploughing and could have belonged to the victim of a long ago massacre, as the skull had a slash in it which could have been made by a sword. Sadly they are no longer there.

Next time I will report on the annual Fell race and hopefully have these promised pictures!

Slainte David

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December 29, 2006

The Arbroath Declaration of Scottish Independance in English

The Declaration of Arbroath. 2

On a previous page we wrote about how and why the Declaration of Arbroath came to be drawn up by Bruce and the Scottish Nobles.  We reproduce the English language translation below together with a photograph of the original charter or rather a copy retained in Scotland (as the original got lost in history).  Note the seals attached to the charter instead of signatures.  We have applied a similar seal to your Laird Certificate.



To the most Holy Father and Lord in Christ, the Lord John, by divine providence Supreme Pontiff of the Holy Roman and Universal Church, his humble and devout sons Duncan, Earl of Fife, Thomas Randolph, Earl of Moray, Lord of Man and of Annandale, Patrick Dunbar, Earl of March, Malise, Earl of Strathearn, Malcolm, Earl of Lennox, William, Earl of Ross, Magnus, Earl of Caithness and Orkney, and William, Earl of Sutherland; Walter, Steward of Scotland, William Soules, Butler of Scotland, James, Lord of Douglas, Roger Mowbray, David, Lord of Brechin, David Graham, Ingram Umfraville, John Menteith, guardian of the earldom of Menteith, Alexander Fraser, Gilbert Hay, Constable of Scotland, Robert Keith, Marischal of Scotland, Henry St Clair, John Graham, David Lindsay, William Oliphant, Patrick Graham, John Fenton, William Abernethy, David Wemyss, William Mushet, Fergus of Ardrossan, Eustace Maxwell, William Ramsay, William Mowat, Alan Murray, Donald Campbell, John Cameron, Reginald Cheyne, Alexander Seton, Andrew Leslie, and Alexander Straiton, and the other barons and freeholders and the whole community of the realm of Scotland send all manner of filial reverence, with devout kisses of his blessed feet.

Most Holy Father and Lord, we know and from the chronicles and books of the ancients we find that among other famous nations our own, the Scots, has been graced with widespread renown. They journeyed from Greater Scythia by way of the Tyrrhenian Sea and the Pillars of Hercules, and dwelt for a long course of time in Spain among the most savage tribes, but nowhere could they be subdued by any race, however barbarous. Thence they came, twelve hundred years after the people of Israel crossed the Red Sea, to their home in the west where they still live today. The Britons they first drove out, the Picts they utterly destroyed, and, even though very often assailed by the Norwegians, the Danes and the English, they took possession of that home with many victories and untold efforts; and, as the historians of old time bear witness, they have held it free of all bondage ever since. In their kingdom there have reigned one hundred and thirteen kings of their own royal stock, the line unbroken a single foreigner.

The high qualities and deserts of these people, were they not otherwise manifest, gain glory enough from this: that the King of kings and Lord of lords, our Lord Jesus Christ, after His Passion and Resurrection, called them, even though settled in the uttermost parts of the earth, almost the first to His most holy faith. Nor would He have them confirmed in that faith by merely anyone but by the first of His Apostles — by calling, though second or third in rank — the most gentle Saint Andrew, the Blessed Peter’s brother, and desired him to keep them under his protection as their patron forever.

The Most Holy Fathers your predecessors gave careful heed to these things and bestowed many favours and numerous privileges on this same kingdom and people, as being the special charge of the Blessed Peter’s brother. Thus our nation under their protection did indeed live in freedom and peace up to the time when that mighty prince the King of the English, Edward, the father of the one who reigns today, when our kingdom had no head and our people harboured no malice or treachery and were then unused to wars or invasions, came in the guise of a friend and ally to harass them as an enemy. The deeds of cruelty, massacre, violence, pillage, arson, imprisoning prelates, burning down monasteries, robbing and killing monks and nuns, and yet other outrages without number which he committed against our people, sparing neither age nor sex, religion nor rank, no one could describe nor fully imagine unless he had seen them with his own eyes.

But from these countless evils we have been set free, by the help of Him Who though He afflicts yet heals and restores, by our most tireless Prince, King and Lord, the Lord Robert. He, that his people and his heritage might be delivered out of the hands of our enemies, met toil and fatigue, hunger and peril, like another Macabaeus or Joshua and bore them cheerfully. Him, too, divine providence, his right of succession according to or laws and customs which we shall maintain to the death, and the due consent and assent of us all have made our Prince and King. To him, as to the man by whom salvation has been wrought unto our people, we are bound both by law and by his merits that our freedom may be still maintained, and by him, come what may, we mean to stand.

Yet if he should give up what he has begun, and agree to make us or our kingdom subject to the King of England or the English, we should exert ourselves at once to drive him out as our enemy and a subverter of his own rights and ours, and make some other man who was well able to defend us our King; for, as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under English rule. It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom — for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself.

Therefore it is, Reverend Father and Lord, that we beseech your Holiness with our most earnest prayers and suppliant hearts, inasmuch as you will in your sincerity and goodness consider all this, that, since with Him Whose vice-gerent on earth you are there is neither weighing nor distinction of Jew and Greek, Scotsman or Englishman, you will look with the eyes of a father on the troubles and privation brought by the English upon us and upon the Church of God. May it please you to admonish and exhort the King of the English, who ought to be satisfied with what belongs to him since England used once to be enough for seven kings or more, to leave us Scots in peace, who live in this poor little Scotland, beyond which there is no dwelling-place at all, and covet nothing but our own. We are sincerely willing to do anything for him, having regard to our condition, that we can, to win peace for ourselves.

This truly concerns you, Holy Father, since you see the savagery of the heathen raging against the Christians, as the sins of Christians have indeed deserved, and the frontiers of Christendom being pressed inward every day; and how much it will tarnish your Holiness’s memory if (which God forbid) the Church suffers eclipse or scandal in any branch of it during your time, you must perceive. Then rouse the Christian princes who for false reasons pretend that they cannot go to help of the Holy Land because of wars they have on hand with their neighbours. The real reason that prevents them is that in making war on their smaller neighbours they find quicker profit and weaker resistance. But how cheerfully our Lord the King and we too would go there if the King of the English would leave us in peace, He from Whom nothing is hidden well knows; and we profess and declare it to you as the Vicar of Christ and to all Christendom.

But if your Holiness puts too much faith in the tales the English tell and will not give sincere belief to all this, nor refrain from favouring them to our prejudice, then the slaughter of bodies, the perdition of souls, and all the other misfortunes that will follow, inflicted by them on us and by us on them, will, we believe, be surely laid by the Most High to your charge.

To conclude, we are and shall ever be, as far as duty calls us, ready to do your will in all things, as obedient sons to you as His Vicar; and to Him as the Supreme King and Judge we commit the maintenance of our cause, casting our cares upon Him and firmly trusting that He will inspire us with courage and bring our enemies to nought.

May the Most High preserve you to his Holy Church in holiness and health and grant you length of days.

Given at the monastery of Arbroath in Scotland on the sixth day of the month of April in the year of grace thirteen hundred and twenty and the fifteenth year of the reign of our King aforesaid.

Endorsed: Letter directed to our Lord the Supreme Pontiff by the community of Scotland.

Additional names written on some of the seal tags: Alexander Lamberton, Edward Keith, John Inchmartin, Thomas Menzies, John Durrant, Thomas Morham (and one name is still illegible).

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December 27, 2006

“Discover some of the best Scottish Humour jokes on the net.”

Scottish humour (or humor if you are from the USA) is said to a very dry humour and often seen as putting down our nation and our own people.

For example one of the most common jokes in Scottish humour is about the meanness or frugality of Scots people. For example we still love to joke that we are tight fisted.

Advert in local newspaper.  For Sale Used Gravestone ideal for family named McDonald.

After a rather poor collection was gathered in, the church minister prayed, "We thank you , dear Lord, that the collection plate has been returned safely"

In reality research figures over many years have consistently shown that per head of population we give far more to charity than our English counterparts.

Many of us — including myself — love to hear the bagpipes when they are played well but with our Scottish humor we can joke about the sound they make to untrained ears that have no taste.

Wee Sandy had just moved to London.  Visited by a friend from Scotland he was asked how he was doing.

"Weel",he said, "its jist grand, apart from the English Neighbours. The lot next door scream and shout and doonstairs is forever knocking up wi a broom".

"For goodness sake, Sandy, How do you stand all this commotion?"asked his friend.

"Och,ah jist keep quietly practicing on ma pipes!"

A lot of Scottish humour includes jokes about our national drink (Scotch Whisky) often with a well deserved put down for other drinks that pretend to be our whisky.

For example three CEO’s of large whisky companies went into a hotel bar.

"Okay barman ", said the first one, "give me a Japanese Whisky, the finest whisky in the world." The Barman gives him his drink.

"Right barman," said the second CEO, Give me a large American Whiskey, the finest whisky in the world."  The Barman gives him his drink.

"Right barman," said the Scottish CEO. "Give me a coke"

The other two Whisky CEOs were astonished and asked " Why aren’t you drinking Scotch whisky?"

"Well", said the Scot, " I reckoned if you guys aren’t drinking whisky, neither would I"

 

We also love to to use our particular brand of Scottish humor to have a go at our politicians.

99.9% of Scots are decent, hardworking, law abiding and and honest citizens.  But we still have to learn to accept the blame for electing the other 0.1% to govern us.

But maybe more than anything the Scottish Humor tends to love to have a joke about our English neighbours south of the border.

When God created Scotland, He looked down on it with great satisfaction. Finally He called the Archangel Gabriel to have a look.

“Just see,” said God. “This is the best yet. Splendid mountains, beautiful scenery, brave men, the very finest of all women, nice cool weather. And I’ve given them beautiful music and a special drink called whisky. Try some.”

Gabriel took an appreciative sip.

“Excellent,” he said. “But haven’t you perhaps been too kind to them? Won’t they be spoiled by all these things? Should there not be some drawback?”

“Just wait till you see the neighbours they’re getting,” said God.

We will be adding large numbers of pages of Scottish humor jokes to this website over the next few months. Come back and see them regularly.

Alternatively contribute your own Scottish Humour to our pages below

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October 25, 2004

Laird of Isle of Jura Newsletter 1

Isle of Jura newsletter October 2004

Welcome to your Isle of Jura newsletter. In this issue I am bringing you news of the Isle of Jura Music festival, Isle of Jura 365 : The Landscape Photographic Exhibition, and a poem on Farewell to Jura written in 1871.

Isle of Jura Music Festival 2004

The annual Isle of Jura music festival took place on the last weekend in September. This is now arguably the biggest event in the Jura calendar, attracting visitor numbers that more than double the population for the weekend.

This is no doubt due to the musical talent on display - ranging from the “locals” concert on the Friday night through to the main concert and dance on the Saturday, the numerous sessions, pipers, fiddlers, Gaelic singers, a jazz band, a bit of Irish/country and western and even a samba band (that managed to collapse the stage in the field!) At one point on Saturday night this author counted no fewer than 5 different places to go to hear music. Not bad for a wee island like Jura!

This year’s headline act at the main concert on Saturday night was the Michael McGoldrick Band. Supported by accomplished musicians there ain’t nothing Michael can’t do with a flute. Brilliant!

Meanwhile, up in the hotel bar the Gillespie brothers had them dancing on the tables with their pipes and accordion. Then it was the Jimmy Shandrix Experince that had us dancing in the hall until 3 am!

A few sore heads on the Sunday but it was on with the show! The Islay Pipe Band, the Jazz band (who also played in the church), singers and Gaorsach with their dancing display. Finally, the children put on a play with masks and shadow puppets in which Buie the Dwarf put paid to the wicked witch of Beinn an Oir (one of the Paps).

The bar remained packed for the rest of the night with a few game musicians battling on, but most of us by this time were partied out!

If you are interested in coming to Isle of Jura for the festival, it is held over the last weekend in September (a traditional Glasgow holiday weekend).

Accommodation books up very early but camping is available in the field in front of the Jura hotel. Please be warned, the place can be very busy.

Isle of Jura 365 : The Landscape Photographic Exhibition

A 3 year photographic project, carried out on Jura by Dr Gary Mckay from the USA, captured some 46,000 raw images in every season. The focus of the project was to interpret Gaelic place names within the landscape, and to capture them according to their translations. A selection of these images will be displayed at various locations on Jura, Islay and the mainland over the coming months. Go to www.theisleofjura.co.uk for further information on the exhibition and the island.

Isle of Jura Stories from the past

This month a poem, written by Jessie Scott on Feb 27th 1871 of Knockintavill (Barnhill). It is believed it was written just before she left for America knowing she would not be coming back to the Isle of Jura.

Farewell to Jura

No more I’ll climb the mountains high
To view the meeting sea and eye.
The stately vessels passing by
On every side of Jura.

Give honour to the great the brave,
To sordid souls the gold they crave,
Give me a walk at dusky eve
Along the shores of Jura.

How dear to me thy every scene,
When sun shines o’er the Western Main,
Or when he walks and spreads again
His golden beams o’er Jura.

By simple nature’s power impressed
There friendship glows in every breast
The stranger is a welcome guest
At every hearth in Jura.

From strife of noisy towns secure,
There mortals spend their lives obscure,
And long may harmony endure
Throughout the Isle of Jura.

Though ne’er to tread thy shores again,
My heart with thee shall aye remain
Where’er I wander I’ll retain
My dearest wish for Jura

Until next month, slainte. David

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